Dr. Gottman’s research has shown that fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. As he explains in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, although happily married couples may feel driven to distraction at times, they still feel that the person they married is worthy of honor and respect.
The best test of a couple’s fondness and admiration system is how they view their past. 94% of the time, couples who put a positive spin on their marriage’s history and their partner’s character are likely to have a happy future as well.
The better in touch you are with your deep-seated positive feelings for each other, the less likely that you will act with contempt – the most destructive of the Four Horsemen – when you disagree.
The brief quiz below has been designed to assess the current state of fondness and admiration in your relationship.
If you’d like to take the full Fondness and Admiration Questionnaire, add your email below and we’ll send it directly to your inbox. Over the next nine weeks we will be offering a variety of quizzes to help you assess the strengths in your relationship and identify areas that may need attention.
Note: These questionnaires are intended to be psychoeducational. If you would like a full evaluation of your relationship, you can ask your therapist to invite you to complete the Gottman Relationship Checkup. If you’re not currently seeing a therapist, you can find one in your area on the Gottman Referral Network.More in The Questionnaires